i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I AM VODKA MAN
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
