Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
