I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
