I wannas sexs uuuuu
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
