Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
