i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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