come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
