I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
