i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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