Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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