I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
