you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
