just come out here and I will go home with you...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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