So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
