"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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