i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
