She announced her abortion via fbk
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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