so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
