I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
