Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
