Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
