You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
