no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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