New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think my vagina is haunted
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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