these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Your cock deserves a montage
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
