I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize