So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
