Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
