Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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