THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
