I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize