Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
