We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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