im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
