I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
