i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You need a sexual gate keeper
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
