Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
