i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
