I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
