i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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