HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
