Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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