I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
