discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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