oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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