i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
