Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
