it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
