they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
