I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
