I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
