Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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