basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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