you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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