All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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