I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
