i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
