Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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