We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
