My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
