I wish I could punch you in the face.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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